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Gender Matters

Many people take gender for granted and expect it to be simple for everyone. Yet gender can also be rich with complications. I work every day with people for whom gender is not simple.

People’s identities vary tremendously, and for some, the terms that feel right can shift and change. My gender clients have many ways of describing themselves, such as:

Trans, Transgender, Transsexual, Transfeminine, Transwoman, Transmasculine, Transman, Queer, Genderqueer, Gender fluid, Two spirit, Non-binary, Bi-gender, Third gender, Agender, Cross-dressing, Drag king, Drag queen, FtM, and MtF, Gender expansive, Gender diverse, Gender non-conforming, and Gender variant.

Therapy for people who are gender diverse is a specialized area of practice. The therapist needs specific knowledge about medical, legal, social, political, family, work place, and minority stress/safety issues. At the same time, empathy must be front and center. This is my approach—both for my clients and for their loved ones.

For the past several years I’ve led a reading group for therapists specializing in gender diversity. Doing so keeps me up to date on research and clinical concepts pertinent to gender diverse clients. I offer years of experience and a safe environment for sorting out a life that’s both authentic and satisfying.

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"
— Anais Nin
"The journey between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place."
— Barbara De Angelis

Your Personal Gender Journey

For some people, the path towards realizing their gender is crystal clear. For others, gender can feel like a puzzle with no solution. Either way, finding the most authentic and satisfying fit is an essential journey. We all need to feel comfortable in our own skins, and I embrace the many paths that my gender clients find and create. Together we can and soften the challenges while supporting your success.

The Journey Beyond Transition

Many of my clients arrive having already established a comfortable gender identity for themselves. Now they seek to enhance the many other aspects of their lives. Having a gender-sensitive therapist who understands your complexities eases the way. For example, some relationships can get complicated very quickly when one is living stealth, while others can become quite challenging simply by living openly. It’s a great pleasure for me to help you find your way through the intersecting issues that arise when gender is part of the mix.
"The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination."
— Don Williams, Jr.
"During our life journey, we are not here to see through each other; we are here to see each other through." — Chaitanya Charan Das

Family Members & Loved Ones

Being close to someone on a gender journey can be a big adjustment in its own right. You may have complicated emotions—such as worry, grief, or regret—even while you want to be supportive. You may need information and help in order to even process what your loved one is going through.

Then there’s the matter of what these changes mean for you. It may feel like your family member is disappearing or becoming someone completely different. Grief can be prominent for a time. Relationships may need to find a new balance. You may also find yourself celebrating the milestones and increased happiness of the person you love.

In addition, there’s often a secondary coming out process out for a transitioning person’s closest family members. I have helped spouses, parents, grandparents, and whole families traverse these challenges. Your journey is a valid one and has its own complexities. I’ll work to help you remain connected to the person you love.

Beyond Gender

There are many other identities and lifestyles that I also welcome. I am, of course, comfortable and experienced with the LGBTQ community. In addition, I’ve worked with people involved in polyamory, kink, and fetishes. You needn’t hide these important aspects of who you are.
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."
— Henry David Thoreau